Author: iravolk

My new book

‘The Art and Science of Happiness: 10 simple steps to learn how to enjoy life again‘ is available in all formats (audio – print – ebook) in 66 countries.

This book will change your life… if you allow it to.
On these pages, I describe the mechanism of happiness that truly works. It will help you learn how to be happy again because there are specific, scientifically proven things that anyone can do – simple but extremely effective techniques that will change your life. After reading this book, you will finally realize that it’s okay to treat yourself well, it’s okay to love yourself and it’s okay to take care of yourself before taking care of others.

Available on Amazon, iTunes, Audible, Google Books, Lulu and other stores.

The Art and Science of Happiness

Родительская любовь

Сейчас стало модным рассуждать, что “все проблемы из детства”. Я не ставлю под сомнение эту теорию, но она меня заставила задуматься о том, какие критерии мы должны использовать для оценки того, было наше детство “адекватным” или “поломанным”. Потому что последнее слишком, на мой взгляд, часто стало использоваться как оправдание собственных проблем с личностью и недовольства жизнью.

Было ли поломанным детство у ребенка, который рос без отца, но в комфортных условиях? Как это сравнить с теми, кто жил во время блокады? А что насчёт детей, живущих сейчас в Украине? Им хуже или лучше тех, что росли в условиях бедности и отсутствия гигиены в средневековье? Считали ли пещерные люди свое детство “поломанным”, и т.д.

Критерии и стандарты жизни меняются из поколения в поколение, от региона к региону и даже от семьи к семье. А дети, выросшие в одних и тех же условиях, в итоге становятся самыми разнообразными личностями с самым разнообразным набором тараканов.

Получается, единственный объективный критерий “адекватности” нашего детства, на который можно ориентироваться – это любили ли вас ваши родители. Остальное – в вашей голове, и это ваш личный выбор, как к этому всему “остальному” относиться.

Поэтому если вы родитель и если ещё не поздно, то следует сделать следующий вывод: все, что ребенку нужно знать – это то, что вы его любите. Несмотря ни на что. Безусловно. Не за заправленную кровать, пятерки и достижения. А просто так, потому что он – ваш ребенок.

Если вы даёте своему ребенку любовь – значит, вы уже делаете для него все, что можете. А все остальное (новые кроссовки, айфон, условия быта, даже количество времени, которое вы с ним проводите) – как получается. Потому что он все равно найдёт на что пожаловаться своему терапевту, когда вырастет. Но потом поймет, что вы для него делали все, что могли.

Foreword to my new book “The Art and Science of Happiness” (to be published)

And there I was… shattered, broken, dead inside. I woke up before the alarm went off (again), with no desire to open my eyes and get up, with no desire to live. I had lost count of how many days (weeks, month??) went by like that. I was an empty shell of a human, having to function just because I had kids to take care of. They needed to go to school, they needed to eat, they needed a mother. That was the only thing keeping me alive. Or, rather, at least visibly alive. 

Life is a weird and unpredictable thing. And sometimes shit hits the fan and you find yourself in unbearable pain. I’m not talking about physical pain (we all know how to deal with that), I’m talking about the illness of the soul that, if not healed, results in a depression (in some cases – suicide). It happens to many, throughout our lives.

That pain that follows you wherever you go, when you wake up miserable, fall asleep miserable, when you cry when no one is watching. It becomes part of you, to the point when you start forgetting what it feels like – to live without constantly hurting. Sometimes you may even have psychosomatic experiences like real chest pain or difficulty breathing – real body aches resulting from a psychological trauma.

Maybe some of you are going through this right now. If so – be strong. There’s a way out, I promise. I hope this book helps you find yourself and resurrect. If it helps at least 1 person – that’s all that matters to me.

Or maybe you’re one of those people who just forgot how to smile because you’ve buried yourself in responsibilities, chores and duties. Because you have a job that you don’t like. Because you’re married to the wrong person. Because your parents don’t appreciate you. Because… the list goes on. Because you’re living somebody else’s life and not your own. 

A number of years I was in a state when I didn’t know what a natural and sincere smile felt like. I forgot what happiness felt like. I was depressed. I started searching for ways to learn how to be happy again. And I found them. So I want to share them with you.

I believe I can help a lot of people learn how to be happy again because there are specific, scientifically proven, things that anyone can do – simple things that work.

Fast forward a couple years from the day when I realized I was almost dead… 

Today, I’m a person who is grateful for every single day, who wakes up with a smile and goes to bed with a smile, a loving mother who enjoys spending time with her precious kids, a successful professional with multiple published best-seller books, a speaker, an educator, and a business woman. Every single day I only do things I want to do, I never do anything because I have to. I radiate love and I’m capable of truly loving others because I have a lot to give. I truly enjoy life and I consider myself an eternally happy individual. I’m happier than I have ever been, and it’s not because I won a lottery… 

It’s because I have taught myself the skill of happiness. And you can do that, too. It’s actually pretty easy.

I’ve been studying this topic for a long time. I have gathered and digested vast amounts of information and I have practiced many things. In this book, I will describe the mechanism of happiness that truly works. Hope this helps whoever needs help.

Hugs.

Ira Vouk

Exploring

Exploring a new city is like reading a new book. I have a tendency to devour them, in a few days, page by page, forgetting to sleep and to eat. I can’t think of anything more exciting than getting out of the hotel early in the morning, on page one, excited, ready to take it all in: new scenes, new sounds, new smells… That’s my Zen.
One of the reasons why I love traveling is that it shows you again and again that things that are considered weird where you live may be absolutely normal somewhere else. And that opens up your horizons and stretches your mind. That’s how you learn to never judge. Because normality is very subjective.
It’s a very liberating feeling when you learn to accept people for who they are.